Our Limits Are a Doorway

Rachel Tenney
Jun 16
6 min read

*Written in December 2023

Do you view your limits as fundamentally positive or negative?

I’ve been reading A Spacious Life by Ashley Hales and it’s been so freeing to reframe how I view my limitations.

We all have limits in our

Bodies
Wealth
Personalities
Location
Relationships
People we are responsible to care for
And more...

A few of my limitations are: I’m a stay-at-home mom, I struggle with chronic fatigue, I need 7-8 hours of sleep a night, my husband is making financial sacrifices to allow me to stay home and run a business, I live in North Carolina, and I’m an extrovert who burns out.

It’s important to make a list of our limitations and then pray through them. Being self-aware to know what our limitations are helps us to steward them!

There are different kinds of limitations. For instance, some limits are self-imposed and things we shouldn’t be limited by (for example, thinking you can’t run a business because you’re a stay at home mom, or self-limiting beliefs). Other limits are things that we can work on to have more freedom in the future. Like being severely limited financially, but working to grow your income. Lastly, there are some limits that God sovereignly places in our lives that we have no control over.

Setting aside the first two kinds of limits, let’s focus on how we can learn to work with and steward the limits given to us by God.

First, we need to consider what limits are and why God allows us to have them. First, let’s look at Creation: God created boundary lines. And he called them good. Limits create the order in which we flourish best.

Usually, when I run up against my limits, I am tempted to react in one of a few ways. One option is to blame my circumstances or the people in my life. (Sometimes I’m tempted to be frustrated that my kids take my time instead of embracing those relationships and their limiting nature)

Or I can think that the problem isn’t with my life, but how I’ve ordered it, and I try to strategize the difficulties out of my life. This looks like lots of self-help books and podcasts, and revamping routines and systems, which aren’t bad things in and of themselves, but I can easily fall into the trap of thinking that I need to throw off my limits!

Lastly, if that doesn’t work, I shame myself and give up in despair.

God has a better way for us.

Ps 16:6 says “The Boundary Lines Have Fallen for Me in Pleasant Places”. What did the psalmist see here that we often miss?

He saw that limits are God-given, and are an opportunity for joy. Limits are Boundaries, and boundaries are fundamentally a good thing! Not something to be moved past.

WHY WE DO NOT LIKE LIMITS

Leslie Newbiggin once wrote:

“True freedom is not found by seeking to develop the powers of the self without limits, for the human person is not made for autonomy but for true relatedness in love and obedience; and this also entails the acceptance of limits as a necessary part of what it means to be human.”

We tend to define happiness as freedom, and freedom as infinite choices. This leaves us feeling lonely, depressed, and exhausted. We have decision fatigue.

I think we need to re-examine our assumption.

Inside each of our hearts is the desire to move past our humanness and be like God. We want to be super-woman: Never needing sleep, always good at everything we put our hand to, and able to fulfill every dream and desire. But limits are fundamental to us as Christians, and it’s a reality check to our hearts that want to run far ahead of truth.

“I had to upend my idea of the good life; the good life wasn’t found in my power to choose whatever I wanted. Jesus could not be a garnish on top of my unlimited autonomy. He was the gentle Shepherd leading in the narrow way. The way into a more spacious life was through a doorway I didn’t want to enter: right through my limits.” -Ashley Hales

LIMITS ALLOW US TO SEE OUR GOD

Jesus embraced limits - he was born to a particular family in a particular town in a particular year. He took on a particular trade. He worked with his hands. He embraced his limits.

Our limits give us the opportunity to embrace our smallness, our humanness, our frailty.

Psalm 103:13-14 says “As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. ****For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust.”

Our limits make us face the reality that we are not God SO THAT we can embrace our position as His children. When we see our smallness, we also see His immenseness and His power. And that recognition and submission to Him allows us to love others better. When we embrace our limits, we stop being frustrated that we aren’t God and we start overflowing with His love and joy to others.

“Bottom line: if the second person of the Trinity took on flesh, then all your particularities matter… In God’s kingdom, small is a gift. We are invited to name our limits with God. We bring them to our unlimited God and ask that he would work in and through them. …a ‘do more’ life drains us of energy, compassion, mission, and peace. The magazines and the self-help books tell us that this is the good life, but the kingdom of God says otherwise.” - Ashley Hales (pg 20-21)

This life that I’m currently living, with all of its joys and difficulties is the good life that my Shepherd has brought me into. He leads me through the valleys and beside still waters. I tend to think that the good life is a pinterest-perfect home, happy and easy relationships, a life without any hurry or chaos, and lots of lattes. Anyone relate?

But the good life is a life lived for Jesus, with Jesus. Knowing He smiles on me in the midst of my normal, non-exciting, ordinary life. Knowing that I am doing the work He has given for me to do. Knowing that all the achievements in the world can’t replace his approval and acceptance. That is the good life. And enjoying my imperfect, messy, tiny life as a good and joyful gift from my Father’s hand.

HOW LIMITS MAKE US BETTER ENTREPRENEURS

Our limits enable us to love God more - his children And therefore we overflow into love for others, so we can serve our clients or customers better
Our limits help us cultivate faithfulness when things are hard (family, church life, work projects)
Our limits protect our energy (We don’t overextend, we just show up, they give us a chance to rest and sabbath)
Our limits enable us to live fully where we are instead of being spread thin (think all the social media platforms) Our limits force us to prioritize.
Our Limits remind us that we are human, and so we don’t try to be the Savior to others
Our limits cultivate gratitude for our “small” businesses. There is always someone bigger and more successful than you!
Our limits are an invitation to delight- when we know our limits, we don’t see our value as productive machines, and we can play, like small children do because we trust our Father.
Our limits guide us to prayer

Practically what has embracing my limits looked like?

Not holding myself to the standard of working x number of hours a day.
Not holding myself to the standard of wealth I grew up with and embracing the choice we have made to sacrifice for the sake of independence and ministry
Because of chronic fatigue, I know that if I work hard one day, I will pay for it the next. So I need to prioritize my sleep and make space for down-time. Because I can’t work at full capacity, I can’t make huge business goals. I have to grow slowly.

💬 What limits do you have currently in your life? How can you reframe them as opportunities for creativity?

Are there areas of your business where you are needing to embrace smallness? How might that lead to more joy? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments!

Suggested reading: A Spacious Life by Ashley Hales